My dad, not my father
by KilianaFelagund
Summary: "You're my father? Do you even know me? You're not my father!" Sam. Dean, Sam and John. Does John even know his son?


**Originally is was just a 200 word drabble, but I wanted to write Sam venting. Just a quick story I wrote because I am bored and can't update "Sam's Brother" just quite yet. I was intrigued by the idea of this. **

**The first part is obviously Dean's voice talking. the second, well you'll see. :)**

**I don't own Supernatural. And I have to tag mild language (really ****mild this time)**

**~Kiliana **

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><p>Dad, Sammy can talk! He said he first words yesterday. He is going to be so smart.<p>

Dad, Sammy walked today. See look. C'mere Sammy. Walk to Dean-o. YES! Good Boy!

Dad. Guess what? I taught Sammy to read. He can read my Comic Books now.

Dad, will you show me how to sign your name so I can enroll Sam in Kindergarten?

Don't worry Dad, I got it handled. Go get the bastard. Sam and me are fine alone.

Dad. Don't ever tell Sam. I can shoot. I'll protect him. He can't ever know.

Dad, the guy deserved it, he was picking on Sam. Its only detention for a week. Sam can stay in the library with Mrs. Lila.

I made dinner Dad, eat while it's hot. I'm just helping Sam finish his homework.

Dad look, Sammy got an outstanding student award. There was a ceremony and everything! Lots of cake!

Dad, call me back please. Sam's in the hospital with something called chicken-pox. They said they won't release him to me.

Dad, don't drink that, you've had enough for one night and you're gonna wake Sam.

Dad, hey… umm, I'm fine, but I got caught and I'm gonna be stuck here a month. I can't afford bail. Sam's alone at the motel, could you pick him up?

Thanks Dad, you know, for picking up Sam. Ya and that too, I'd rather not be stuck there a month.

Dad, hey, it's Christmas. Sam and me were wondering if you were gonna make it. Just wondered. Merry Christmas.

DAD! He hates me! He read the diary. He'll never forgive me for lying to him. What do I do? Dad…

Dad, he can't do it yet, you're gonna hurt him if you force him too. Let me train him, if he can't keep up with me in three months we'll do it your way.

Hey Dad look. Sam can hit the target as well as I can. He's gonna be an awesome side-kick. (Meh, don't roll your eyes at me kid.)

Dad, look, you gotta follow the lead on the demon I get that, Sam and me can gank this thing by ourselves. Ya I'll call.

Dad, where are you? Please call back. We're worried… well, I'm worried.

Dad…

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><p>Sam spun around too face his father. "How dare you leave us to do that alone? The gig was too much for us and you knew it! Now Dean's hurt, in the hospital, possibly dying and it is on your head alone. You killed your son!"<p>

"Don't you take that tone with me, boy! I'm your father, and Dean is more than capable." John snapped facing the accusing brown eyes of his enraged son, trying not to feel the pain of that accusation.

"Father?" Sam laughed dangerously stepping back with a forced laugh. "You're my father? Do you even know me? What's my favorite band? Color? Subject? What are my allergies, medical history? You're not my father!"

John snapped taking a threatening step forward. "I'm not am I!?"

"NO! The only father I have ever had is Dean!" Sam yelled hands clenched at his side. "He taught me to walk, and read. He came to every stupid school award ceremony or production. He enrolled me in school.-" Sam's voice raised in pitch and anger!

"-He sat up and cared for me when I was sick. He suffered quietly to keep me from worrying when he was sick. HE protected me and taught me to hunt. He chased away the monsters in the dark.-" John couldn't breathe as his son vented, screaming at him.

"-Dean knows all of my deepest secrets, he knows how to pick me up and put me together. He fed me, dressed me, loved me without fail! You're just a stranger who flits in and out of our life and gets my brother hurt! You might have killed the only father I've ever had!" Sam ended his rant and collapsed on the floor in tears.

"-Why do you have to come and drag him off to hunt? He'd jump off a cliff for you and then I would lose him. He is all I have." Sam whispered and looked up at the stranger with large sorrowful eyes.

John dropped trembling beside Sam and drew him into his arms. "God forgive me, I have failed you, and I have failed Mary!" he whispered his voice shaking with emotion.

Sam's face screwed up where he lay stiff as a board against John's chest.

"Mary! I'm sorry!" John cried. Behind them a door creaked open but neither one looked up.

"Well Damn." Croaked a voice that sounded like it was made of sandpaper. "Dad and Sammy hugging. Maybe I did die." He hadn't even finished before he found his arms full of teary snotty floppy-haired Sammy. He cracked a grin that was as rough around the edges as his voice and sank his teeth into his lips to cut back a cry of pain. One heavily bandaged hand came up to work its way into Sam's messy locks.

"Dude." He gasped even croakier than before. "Hey calm down, Samantha." Sam didn't even loosen his grip.

John stood up, still as white as a ghost. There before his eyes he saw his punishment.

Sam was wrapped around his brother – no, wrapped around his father – who was clearly about to collapse in pain. John cleared his throat and gently touched the teen-ager.

"Sam." He growled huskily. "Loosen up, he's about to drop in pain." Sam jumped back harshly and examined Dean's gray face.

"I'm sorry." He murmured horrified.

"S'kay." Dean gasped tousling his hair fondly.

"You shouldn't be up." John slipped back into drill sergeant.

"Yeah, well, the nurses aren't even hot. I flew da coup. Let's ditch this joint!" Dean retorted attempting to return his voice to casual jest despite his blurring vision. He took one step and collapsed with a muffled groan into two sets of waiting arms.

"Sam." John said over Dean's heaving back. "I'm sorry I failed you. But we have one thing in common. Let's get him home." Sam's eyes met John's. Yes, they could be allies. Lopping his arms around his brother and against his new ally, they carried the half-conscious man out.

John looked in the mirror at where his youngest held his oldest carefully on his lap gently running his fingers through his hair.

Yes, this was his punishment for hunting. He had not only lost Mary, but he had lost Sam. Dean was the glue of this shattered family.

This was his punishment, but it was Dean's reward.

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><p><strong>Ya, so not my normal story type. Please tell me if you hate it, cause I really had no idea where the must was taking it this time. <strong>

**I really don't think John was a bad father. He was a misguided father for sure, but he loved the boys in his own way. **

**Anyway, I'm not fully confident anyone is even going to like this so, review PLEASE! feed the muse.**

**:)**

**~Kiliana**


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